Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
