Having a random hookup so left but love u
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
