WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
