32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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