why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
