we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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