He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
