Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize