I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry about my life...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
