i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
