I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
