Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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