I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have feelings that need drinking.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
