if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize