I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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