You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
