batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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