I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The adults are the big ones right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
