He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
