forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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