and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
