Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
