She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
