What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
