I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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