and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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