the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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