we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
