yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
