woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
