just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
