In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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