I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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