just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
