Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
