I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
