So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
