I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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