And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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