She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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