I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
