can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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