omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
