seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
