marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
