worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize