now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
