I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
