So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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