Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
