I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
