i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
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Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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