Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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