Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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