we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
