Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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