I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
