Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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