I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
