is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
