Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
