the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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