I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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