I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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