You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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