did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
