Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
