Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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